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by Marian Daniells

Though they call each other brothers and sisters, sometimes Greeks fail confront each other about important issues, more concerned with the image of the chapter or organization than the safety of its members.

“When is it time to stop thinking like a fraternity or sorority and start acting like a brother or sister?” challenged T.J. Sullivan.

Sullivan, who has reached more than two million students in his speaking career, presented his keynote address titled “Confronting the Idiot in Your Chapter” on April 6. The event, hosted by Northeastern’s Sigma Delta Tau sorority, gathered about 100 campus Greeks in the Curry Student Center ballroom to discuss the importance of looking out for the safety of fellow brothers and sisters.

According to Sigma Delta Tau’s special events chair, Alyssa Caffi, the sorority chose to host Sullivan because they “wanted to bring someone to campus who could help build better organizations and leadership.”

Sullivan started off by naming the most popular reasons why Greeks have said they would interfere or confront somebody. The list included driving while drunk, hazing, divulging ritual, abusing alcohol or drugs, not paying dues, chapter embezzlement and doing something bad while in letters.

He then transitioned into some of his own experiences with his fraternity, Pi Kappa Phi, proudly stating that “Ever since I’ve said yes to my fraternity, I’ve been an active member.” In addition to being a founding father of his chapter, Sullivan has since served as a volunteer on the local and national level and is a member of the Phi Nu Society.

Drawing from his experiences, Sullivan divulged the two aspects about Greek life that he doesn’t support: first, that oftentimes members put up with behavior that they wouldn’t normally put up with because the culprit is a brother/sister; and secondly, that sometimes as Greeks, we don’t really care what our members do until it affects the reputation of our chapter.

To drive home the second point, he used the example of some sorority girls getting upset with their sister, not because she was stripping to pay for college but because she was doing it while her letters were tattooed on her ankle.

“From the moment you say yes to your organization, you are always wearing your letters,” Sullivan said. He stressed that it’s critical that Greeks recognize that they are a part of something bigger and that they must model their behavior in a way that reflects well on their affiliated organization, regardless of whether or not they are wearing their letters.

Then, Sullivan transitioned into the “Idiot” portion of his keynote, laying out some specific steps or ideas to help address and confront a brother, sister or friend:

Identify who is the right person to do the confrontation. Keep in mind that whoever most wants to confront the “idiot” is likely not right for the job.

Find the right environment for the confrontation. It should be a neutral, ideally public, area where neither the confronter nor the “idiot” has too much power.

Always be prepared for different responses/justifications. Stand your ground and “say what you came to say.”

Prepare before the confrontation.

A lot of people don’t confront their “idiot” because they don’t know what to say. According to Sullivan, “All you need is 60 seconds about how your idiot affects you.”

After his presentation, Sullivan reminded students of the promises they made in ritual, which often include something about protecting fellow members. He then re-emphasized his final point, saying, “Honor your letters.”

Junior Ryan Carroll, a member of Alpha Delta Phi fraternity, thought that the presentation was enjoyable. “I learned a lot about conflict resolution and what it means to be a brother or sister,” he said.

Others voiced their reactions on Sullivan’s website. One comment, written by an individual who only provided her first name, praised Sullivan for his keynote. The individual, named Betty, said, “[Sullivan] was amazing…He talked about real life scenarios and suggested applicable solutions or improvements that we could actually put into effect. He taught us how to engage members of our organizations to willingly want to participate in all of our events.”

Caffi, too, was pleased with the turnout of the event and the effect of Sullivan’s words. She said, “We’re trying to ensure that the community sees [Greeks] as the leaders and positive role models that we strive to be.”

Marian Daniells is a student in the journalism school at Northeastern.